As the saying goes in NLP (neuro linguistic programming), you get what you focus on, and in her case, bless her, she was focusing on everything but performing well or feeling confident.
How many times have you heard a performer speak like that? Even after hearing them in rehearsals playing their performance perfectly, they still speak as though they are destined to fail. Here's the thing about language
If I said to you "don't think of a blue tree", what do you instantly think of? A blue tree right? You see, our minds (unconscious mind), don't process negatives, which in simple terms means, whatever you say consciously, it has to process what it is to know not to think about it. Let's take the example of the 'blue tree'.
When I say to you "don't think of a blue tree", your unconscious mind goes through all the information it has stored, and retrieves all the pictures, sounds, feelings and information labeled 'blue tree'. It will then present all of that information to your conscious mind and go "hey, this is that blue tree you asked for, now don't think of it!"
This same principle works for what we say to ourselves in our heads. What do you think happens when we say to ourselves "oh man, I'm so nervous, I'm going to mess this whole thing up and look stupid"? Well our unconscious mind will go and search for all of the pictures, sounds, feelings and information around 'nervous', 'mess up' and 'look stupid' and present that to you. Basically you are telling yourself to feel all of those things.
So what can you do instead? Focus on everything you do want. Instead of saying "I feel so nervous" say "I'm going to feel so confident during this performance" or "I'm going to be so excited as soon as I play this through perfectly!" Your unconscious mind will then go and retrieve all the pictures, sounds, feelings and information for 'excited', 'confidence' and 'play this through perfectly'. You will be amazed at how quick this simple technique can rapidly change your state to a more positive one.
This principle is also good for teachers. Be aware of the words you are using with students. For example, if you say, "this passage is really difficult" guess how the students will find it? You guessed it; they will find it 'really difficult'. Alternatively if you said, "this passage is less easy" the word 'easy' will be taken in rather than 'difficult'.
In a typical coaching setting, we would teach this strategy to those with performance anxiety, alongside working with them to let go of the fear they hold. This will build a new mental strategy for performing confidently.
If you think it's time to let go of your performance anxiety, email us today oninfo@developforlife.co.uk to book your free initial consultation. Alternatively, if you run a music school or college, and would like your services to include performance anxiety coaching, get in touch today to book a meeting with a member of our team.
Thank you for reading
The post How To Talk Yourself Over Stage Fright - The Power Of Language appeared first on Develop For Life.
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