When approaching a fat girl, the standard pickup lines will result in you being turned down immediately. And probably laughed at. You have to actually make an effort, and prove that you're not an assbag. I'm not kidding, it's a lot harder than you think.
Contrary to popular belief, fat girls do hang out places other than McDonalds. Where you meet your fatty really depends on which type of fatty you're hoping to attract. Here's a list of places to meet us, as well as some tips on approaching us in different situations.
* Fit fatty? Oddly enough, a great place to meet fat girls is at the gymwell, women's gyms anyways. Unless you're a girl looking to date a fat girl, your best bet is probably a coffee shop near a women's gym (just hanging out in the parking lot outside and trying to talk to girls is generally discouraged). Your best approach is to comment on her gym bag/shoes. Never comment on her body. Ever.
* Smart fatty? Where else but a used book store! Compliment her choice or ask her if she's read the book you're holding. If she has, ask for her opinion on it.
* Confident fatty? Burlesque show! Seriously, they're filled with us. Compliment her act/song choice/accessories, but just because she stripped down to her pasties moments earlier, do not compliment her on her tits. Although occasionally it goes over incredibly well, it's a major risk.
* Film fatty? Art house theaters. Make sure you go alone, it makes it seem like you're all about the movie. Never approach pre-film, because as soon as the movie starts, you're cut off. Approaching afterwards is fine, and researching the film ahead of time is always a good move. Surprise her with a little known fact! In art house theater situations, you always need to bring your A game, because there is a very good chance she is with her main gay. They will discuss you once you're out of earshot.
* Musical fatty? Record store. No one shops for cds anymore, and concerts are too loud and crowded. Another option is music festivals, but only in the drink area or merch tables. Obviously you just talk about the record they're holding/band that just played. Feel free to use the same approach as with the smart fatty.
* Funny fatty? Comedy show. There's a pretty wide held belief that the only female comedians capable of being funny funny are the fat ones (See: Deborah DiGiovanni, Lisa Lampanelli). There also plenty of fatties in comedy show audiences, particularly for gay comedians. It's best to approach with a joke. If you're confident that she's funnier than you, approach with the absolute worst joke you know. It will be so bad that she'll laugh and you'll have an opening. Please note: Improv shows are not an effective funny fatty meeting place. There will be plenty of fatties in attendance, but none of them will be funny.
* Green fatty? Vegetarian cooking class. Ask her to taste your dish to see if you did it right. Once she does, she will either tell you that you did and be impressed by your cooking, or tell you that you didn't and try to help you fix it, which will get you more face time. Another good place is a farmers market, where your best approach is to ask her if she knows any recipes for cooking the produce you're both looking at.
* Happy fatty? Cupcake shop! I'm not sure why, but if given the choice of a regular cake or cupcake, cupcake wins every time. It might be the cake to icing ratio, or the retro appeal, or the fact that you can eat them on a bicycle, but fat girls go apeshit for cupcakes. Your best bet is to ask her for a flavour suggestion, then buy her one as a thank you. It's like a drink at a bar, only delicious.
Obviously there are many other genres of fatties not covered here, but this is a good primer for boys taking their first trip to Chubtown.
Source: anita-pickup.blogspot.com
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