Thursday, December 3, 2009

How To Get Over Shyness When Going Out On A Date

How To Get Over Shyness When Going Out On A Date

By Stephen Davis

For some people being shy does disastrous things to the social and romantic life. Although everyone experiences this phenomenon at one point or other, it's something that has so be conquered, since human beings are by nature social creatures. Here are some tips on how to get over shyness in a dating context, an excellent chance to deal with the problem effectively.

It's not uncommon for two people dating for the first time to be somewhat withdrawn in each others' company. The fact that both experience a measure of discomfort might make things easier, since such shared experience leads to mutual understanding. Such awareness tends to put people at ease, since the secret is out in the open as it were, and there's nothing to hide.

Overcoming this difficulty starts with a person's attitude towards the issue. Accepting its existence instead of denying or downplaying it is the first step in getting the better of it. It might also help to acknowledge the problem to the companion during the course of conversation. It's occurrence would then not be a surprise to anyone. And the moment the affected person becomes aware of it simply welcome it in silence and continue to indulge the other in social talk.

Another maneuver to try and outwit the problem is through using the power of focus. Simply giving all one's attention to the dating partner would leave little room to ruminate on the problem. Sometimes becoming absorbed in what the other person has to say could make one forget about the predicament altogether.

It might be helpful to spend some time preparing for the occasion beforehand. This also helps to draw the attention away from fretting about the possible predicament. Taking a relaxing shower or bath and donning a fine pair of clothes will also show that meeting with the other person is important. It makes the partner feel valued, which could make the person not even notice moments of awkwardness if it arises.

Take an active listening stance towards what one's partner has to talk about. Attentive listening will not only show the other person that one is interested, but also contributes to the flow of conversation. It then becomes easier to find things to talk about, leaving less room for worrying about what to say.

It might also help to try non-intrusive breathing techniques on the spot. This will calm down the mind and body, and can be done without the other person even noticing. This simply involves at times paying total attention to the flow on one's breath in and out of the body for a few seconds. It instantly relaxes the body, which is necessary to keep at bay the tenseness that causes the problem to erupt.

Initially it's likely to take a little time to learn how to get over shyness. But with conscious and regular practice it's not an impossibility. Choosing dating as an opportunity to face the issue might sound challenging, but could make for a tremendous boost in confidence by simply trying.

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